The holidays can be such a bright and cheerful time. The downtime provides opportunities to reflect on what's really important in life and spend quality time with friends and family. Something else the holiday season is great at is stirring up a lot of anxiety and stress. Between finding the time to buy gifts for everyone on your list to coordinating plans with friends and family to trying to make and send holiday cards with an entire year's worth of updates, the holidays can be a real pain.
I find myself wrestling with a lot of stress and sleepless nights during this time of year. My own personal expectations about what the holidays should look like collides with what is realistic. I wish I had all of the time, energy and money in the world to buy an endless amount of gifts for the people I love all while decorating my house to look like a magazine and cooking amazing meals.
And even though I know every year that this is impossible, I still try. All of the planning, buying, errand running, and cooking never makes me feel as satisfied as I think it should and being tired on top of it all leads to making me a very unpleasant person to spend the holidays with. Besides realizing that my true desires will never be met in the days leading up to Christmas or even in Christmas Day itself, I am learning how to deal with some of these stressors and really enjoy the season for what it's meant to be: a shadow of what's to come when Jesus returns.
And so while these are just some ideas on how to navigate a potentially stressful time, it's important to keep in mind that just trying to manage your feelings and unmet desires won't lead to peace of mind or true joy. That can only be found in the true meaning of this season: That Jesus came to save sinners.
In the midst of the chaos, here are a few tips that have helped me stay relatively sane...
1. Begin a list of Christmas gifts early on
Throughout the year the people you spend time with will occasionally drop hints about something they would really enjoy receiving as a gift. This could be a passing comment about a kitchen gadget they would really love to have or a raving review about a movie they just saw in theaters that is due to come out on DVD around Christmastime. As you hear these things, take note, and if they haven't gotten around to buying it themselves, put it on an ongoing list of gifts you want to give your loved ones. They may even forget they wanted it until you give it to them which adds to the surprise!
If you start a Christmas gift list earlier in the year you can keep an eye out for deals that you might be able to take advantage of so that you can get the best deal possible and not have to worry about the holiday shopping madness.
2. Learn the importance of give and take
Besides the pressure I put on myself to make the holidays perfect there is a lot of outside pressure from society and at times well-intended people I know to "perform" during the holidays. There is always that nagging albeit terrible feeling that you didn't hang enough Christmas lights or send enough Christmas cards or make a fancy feast that matches the importance of the occasion. I'd love to do all of these things but as I mentioned it is literally impossible.
Spoiler alert: CHRISTMAS HAPPENS EVERY YEAR. Unless you are Martha Stewart on steroids it is crazy to think you can do all of the things you want and still be pleasant on Christmas morning. So decide where you want to spend your time and energy. If I go all out on the house and decorate every nook and cranny maybe I'll go really simple on meals this year. Or if I decide I want to buy my hubby that huge expensive gift this year maybe I'll go light on decorating the house and not spend the money there. And whatever you had to "give" on you can really go all out in that area next year. Even though it feels like it, it isn't the end of the world!
3. Remember there are seasons
As I mentioned, I'd love to buy my family and friends all of the items I think they would love but there's just not enough time or money for that. Especially since getting married, the same questions always come up around the holidays... who should we buy gifts for and how much should we spend? In the first few years of our marriage we were making next to nothing since JD was working his first career job and I was still in college. It used be really discouraging for me when we weren't able to give many gifts to our family and friends.
But just like everyone told me it would, that season has come to and end and while we aren't rolling around in cash, we are doing a lot better financially and can be more generous than we ever have been. The truth is there are different seasons in life. Maybe you just had a baby and there is no way you are hanging a garland or cooking the family dinner. Or maybe you are single and on the job hunt and you're not able to spend money on Christmas gifts like you would like to. That really is ok! There will be another season of your life when you can focus on those things, but keeping a healthy perspective during this season involves realizing where you are at in life, accepting that and making decisions accordingly.
4. Plan quiet time
Even the incessant sounds of Christmas music can start to drive you nuts after a while if you don't make a point to take a step back, take a deep breath, and get some downtime. This might seem impossible when you have a long list of gifts you haven't picked up yet, but planning time to rest is a really important part of enjoying the season.
The hustle and bustle can bleed into your days off if you aren't able to recognize your limitations and where possible, factor in some rest and relaxation. I like to sleep in and then whip up one of my favorite holiday treats: coffee and bailey's :)
5. Just enjoy
Some of my favorite Christmas memories aren't when I was tearing open a gift or pulling a perfectly cooked roast out of the oven. My favorite memories don't usually involve doing much of anything except for just spending time with the people I love and enjoying them as the gifts that they are. Sometimes in all of the planning I hold up the tasks as more important than the people they are meant to bless. This just leads to more frustration and disappointment in the end.
This holiday season my hope for myself and all of you is that we can just enjoy.
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